Today my 3 year old son started a theatre group. He’s a bit of a showman and always up for a game so I knew he’d enjoy it. On the way back to the car I asked him what sort of things he’d done in class. “We had to sit down and then stand up and then run when we were told” he said. “Sounds like hard work!” I replied. The next thing I know he’s sitting down in the middle of the pavement! “You’ve to sit down mummy!” he shouted excitedly. I didn’t know what to do. His wee face was so full of excitement and fun, I didn’t want to ruin it. But at the same time, I’m an adult! I can’t sit in the middle of the pavement while people walk round us and people in their cars stare! But you know what? I sat down! Why not? He didn’t care where he was he just did it! iit was a game, a subconscious reflection of learning, eagerness to show me what he can do, a simple 3 year old need learn through play.
I sat down because it reminded me of a very valuable lesson I learned in Aikido quite early on. When we first started doing things in a circle taking turns to go into the middle and do the technique, I was really uncomfortable. I was afraid of doing something wrong and people would laugh. Sensei must have picked up on this (he observes a lot more than you think!) and, without making it obvious and singling me out, we practiced randori with a smaller group at first. Who cares if you get it wrong, at least you tried. So what if people laugh, (they shouldn’t in a dojo - terribly disrespectful - but outside people don’t think) at least you’re doing something.
That said, I am still uncomfortable being the first in the middle. Not for the reasons above but because that’s who I am. My learning takes a reflector style. I like to watch and then do. I’m not a do-first-think-later kind of person. I could never just jump in with both feet but I’m getting better at not waiting till the very end!
And so when my son wanted me to share his learning with him, I did. Even if it meant sitting down in the middle of the street! Who cares what people were thinking. Who cares that a couple of people had to walk round us. Joseph was reflecting on something he had learned. Who was I, of all people, to prevent that.
So jump in with both feet if that’s your thing. Hold back a few minutes if you want to. But whatever you do, take a leaf out of the 3 year old’s book and just do it. If you get it wrong it’s ok, at least you tried :)
