With the next grading creeping ever closer, I thought I'd say a wee bit about them and what they mean (to me - other people may have had different experiences so feel free to comment!). I'm not going to sit here and give you words of wisdom about how to pass a grading because, the truth is, there's no secret to that. If you've practiced your techniques and Ki exercises then you shouldn't have a problem in passing to the next level.
Everyone should pass their grading. Your sensei would not put you forward for a test if there was any possibility that you weren't good enough. I have actually been to gradings where the student struggled through their tests. Whether this was because their nerves took over to the extreme or because their sensei had misjudged their abilities, I don't know. But I would hope that everyone involved had learned from that experience as no one should struggle through a grading. My own view, which I've mentioned in a previous blog, is that I don't go for grading unless I'm absolutely sure of my own abilities at that level. There have been times when sensei has been happy for me to go for grading but I have decided not to. He has always believed in me and has accepted my decisions. However, I've long been aware that I need believe in him! If he thinks I'm ready then why am I resisting? Nobody in my club has ever given me reason to doubt myself (with the exception of the green belt grading but I'll do a different post about that) so I don't know why I hesitate. I tried to go for my green belt 6 months after the orange belt grading but something held me back. This time, I made the decision as soon as I got my green belt that I'd be getting my blue belt in May. Unfortunately a certain baby reversed that decision for me! But Michael is still going for his and I'm really pleased about that. Someone asked me if I felt cheated because it's not my fault I can't grade this time. It technically is partly my fault (it takes 2 to tango!) but Michael is a good aikido practitioner (or aikidoka to give it the correct term) so why should I expect him to hold back? That wouldn't be fair either. So the whole point of this paragraph is that in order to go for your grading, trust your instincts. If you don't feel ready, talk to sensei and if you don't want to go for it then don't. On the other hand, if you feel ready and sensei hasn't suggested you go for your grading then, again, talk to him. There's maybe something more that he needs to see from you before putting you forward and that's all part of the learning curve. It's not an insult and it's not that he doesn't like you - quite the opposite! He's making sure that when you get to black belt level, you are a black belt and not about to get knocked out during a bar fight on Saturday night (that's not the aikido way!).
So what happens in a grading? It's not a case of ticking a box on a piece of paper and saying "yes sensei I can do that". Oh no, it's not that easy! You must demonstrate that you're able to do the techniques and Ki exercises suitable for your grade. You might think that's a bit silly - if sensei knows you can do it then why do you need to be tested? The same could be asked of the education system. The teacher knows his/her students can do the work but, to formalise that and acknowledge their abilities, they need to be tested.
In a grading, the white belts always go first. This does sound cruel - they're new to the experience, have no idea what to expect and yet we make them bumble through it first, alone! But I think this is all part of the test and, despite being the lowest grade, a white belt grading isn't easy. It isn't meant to be! If you want your yellow belt badly enough then nothing will stop you going for it. I remember being the biggest nervous wreck on the planet before my first grading. However it was actually a nice nervousness because it was an experience I was keen to have - it was fear of the unknown that was giving me heart palpitations! I remember being at class the night before my first grading and John (there were loads of Johns in our club so anonymity has been maintained!) told me that the room had lots of mirrors in it. He said "you'll be fine Marie but whatever you do don't look in the effing mirrors!". Cue nightmare about sensei strategically planting full length mirrors all over the mat so that I couldn't avoid looking in them! The real experience was fine though - nobody was trying to trip me up with full-length mirrors and I was too busy concentrating on what I was doing to look into the wall mirrors. My advice to white belts would be to breathe deeply and regularly before your name is called and then just go for it. Allow yourself to show the other people in the room what you can do because you can do it and you deserve this moment on the mat. Don't think about avoiding mistakes, think about your yellow belt. And, if you can, steal a glance at sensei and you will see him standing or sitting with his virtual tail feathers on full display!
Obviously, the higher your grade the more difficult and numerous the techniques and Ki tests will be. Again, compared with the education system, your highers (or whatever they're called these days!) were more difficult than the standard grades but your learning had also developed. The same goes for Aikido. The yellow belt, orange belt, green belt etc gradings should be no harder than the white belt grading if you've practiced and feel ready for it. In fact they'll be less complicated because at least you'll know what's happening!
Gradings always stir up a mix of emotions for me. Eagerness to show
what I can do so that I can move onto the next level, anxiousness about
making sensei proud, doubt about whether I should have gone for this
after all and excitement because it's a
celebration of people's achievements. I don't have a miracle cure for nerves. A bit of anxiousness is good to get the adrenaline pumping but it's not so good if it's making you feel sick and causing mind blocks! A grading is not about anyone trying to catch you out and making you fail. A grading is about you showing your sensei and fellow students what you can do and that you're ready for your next belt. That little bit of extra pressure on you during the grading is making you stronger. I've always enjoyed the celebratory atmosphere once a grading is finished. There's a sense of relief, sure, but it's mainly about congratulations and celebrations (unintended Cliff Richard quote!) and that comes from everyone, even those who didn't grade. Remember, congratulations should also be afforded to your sensei (because you wouldn't be there otherwise), any Dan Grades who helped you and the other students that you practiced with. Without those people, you wouldn't be at the level you're at now.
And so, as you've read, there's no big secret about how to pass a grading. If you've put in as much effort and practice as you can, sensei will respect that and will put you forward for the test when you're ready. This is where the education system is nothing like aikido gradings - you never truly know if you've passed an exam until you get the results a few months later. If you're in a grading with sensei's blessing, I'd suggest you're already at the next level and you just have to demonstrate it. No sweat!
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