Boob!

Some people may find the title of this post embarrassing or even offensive and I did hesitate to use it... but I do have a reason for it:

A couple of nights ago (and by "night" I mean 2am) Joseph discovered the "buh" sound. As this was a new discovery he repeated it for ages as he tried to make other sounds with it. Suddenly out of nowhere he shouts "boooob"! And because he got a reaction from me (uncontrolled giggling) he repeated it continously until he finally tired himself out at 3am!

And, of course, since I wasn't sleeping I had time to think! Way back when I first started aikido I was sensei's only adult female student. This didn't pose a problem for sensei or Dan or the more experienced aikidoka. But I noticed other students would hold back when attacking. Or even avoid me when we were told to pair up. I never let that get to me though so this post isn't a complaint. It's more about men having to work with women in the dojo and my experiences of this.

If you're a man:
While respecting the fact that the ladies have breasts, you will at some point accidentally brush a boob. Or hit it! The chances are she won't have noticed but if she does then it's manners to apologise. Don't try to pretend it never happened, that's even more disrespectful. You can even have a laugh about it but whatever you do do not announce that she "should have got them out the way"! While she possibly didn't move fast enough to avoid your slight of the hand, what if the roles were reversed? What if she accidentally hit you where it hurts? "You should have got it out the way" doesn't really apply does it?

If you're a woman:
Don't worry! I've been doing aikido for 4 years and my boobs have been brushed only a handful of times. Nobody has hit me full force on the boob. I've been poked in the eye, hit on the nose, my arms and wrists have been all colours of bruise but my boobs are unscathed!

Seriously though, the situation is about more than boobs. Most men will have been brought up to respect women and never to lift their hand to them and so it goes against the fibres of their being to attack a woman even in a controlled environment like the dojo. I understand this and it's good that they don't find it easy to attack females. I get that it's difficult to do the opposite of everything you believe in.  But bear in mind that you're not attacking her out of malice or anger. You're doing it out of support and encouragement as part of a lesson. My advice to everyone is this: when you're in the dojo, whether you're male or female, never hold back your attack or do the techniques half assed because you're working with a woman. If she is attacked in real life her attacker isn't going to hold back so you aren't doing her any favours since she won't learn how to deal with it properly.

My argument is that by attacking everyone (in the dojo) whole heartedly, you're giving everyone the chance to learn and grow.