Aikido is known as "the way of peace" but just because it's designed to be less aggressive that doesn't make it easy and ineffective. Aikido is a difficult martial art to master and even Sensei will tell you that he still has a lot to learn. Personally I think it's good that you work to get better, you don't work to be perfect. It means aikido will be useful but never boring. It means your martial art doesn't end at black belt. It means that when you do achieve a pass at grading you know you've worked damn hard to get there.
For me, my first pain barrier was the roll-to-stand break fall. My leg muscles didn't know what had hit them and I fell out of bed the next morning! But, by comparison, that pain barrier was easy to get over. The ukemis were next. Constantly putting pressure on certain parts of your back will feel like the muscles are ripping and your bones have cracked. It's unlikely they're ripping and cracking - especially if you have been following instructions - but it does take quite a bit of practice. I remember, very early on, spending the best part of a single lesson with Dan just doing ukemi after ukemi after ukemi. Eventually I got the hang of it but it took a while. I'm still not great at over-the-tops or "splats" as I call them. I need to relax more which is the opposite of what my brain is telling my body!
From time to time I'd have a particularly tough day at work or I'd be sitting in front of the TV and think "I REALLY cannot be bothered going to class" and I would drag myself over to the dojo. Believe it or not, when you're absolutely knackered its the best time to go to class. Because you're tired, your body is more relaxed and your weight is more underside so the techniques actually work better! So you end up leaving class more energetic and ready to go again! I got over the phase of dragging my heels into class because I thoroughly enjoy it so it's never a chore. However, these days I've never known exhaustion like it. My eyes ache I'm so tired. I'm guessing this is my life from now on though since Joseph will only get more energetic so my body is having to go through the phase all over again but on an advanced level! The difference is that I have a greater determination - I've come too far and learned too much to let a little bit of tiredness take over.
More recently (since returning from "maternity leave") it's been weapons and kneeling techniques that are challenging me. Last week, each green belt did in excess of 300 bokkan cuts in half an hour. That's a lot! I said to Uke that I'd be rubbish in a real battle as I was shattered. His response being "the harder you work the more your body will deal with it". Internally I sighed a huge sigh. He's right - I'd pushed past the ukemi pain barrier and I'm getting there with the tiredness (again), this is just one more barrier to overcome. By the end of this weapons session my shoulder and neck muscles were so sore that they could barely support my head. But we still had over half an hour of class left so I soon forgot about it! Until the next day when every muscle above my waist was screaming at me. But then I know that I've worked really hard so actually the day-after-pain (and incidentally day-after-day-after-pain which is even worse) is a good sign!
The kneeling exercises are new. I know the techniques we're expected to do because I practiced standing with Michael and Chip (name changed for annonimty) but kneeling is completely different! For one, the hakama totally gets in the way - one foot gets stuck up the other leg or both feet get wrapped in the material! So I need to learn to keep my balance whilst having no feet! Secondly, even if the hakama stays where it's supposed to, the techniques themselves become different because you have to overcome the disadvantage of being lower down than your opponent. And lastly, oh my god the ankles hurt big time! I didn't even notice it during class. It was the next morning when I woke up and found that I couldn't feel my feet! Again, just like the ukemis and (hopefully) weapons practice, this pain barrier will be overcome.
Have you ever seen the film "Run Fat Boy Run"? It's exactly like running through an imaginary wall - break through that pain barrier and you can be left in peace to practice the technique and get it to the standard you need for grading. Until then, I'll wake up on Tuesday mornings and think "I REALLY cannot be bothered going to class" then go, enjoy myself, break past that barrier, feel like I can take on the whole world, collapse into bed and then congratulate myself the next day because I can barely move. I love aikido!
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