Unfortunately, I had to stop going on the mat on Tuesdays as well because my tummy was too big to tie my hakama round it! If I could have gone on the mat without it I would have but I feel the hakama is as much a part of me as my belt - even more so because the belt changes but the hakama doesn't. For me, the 7 folds in the hakama serves to remind me about courage, honesty, loyalty, honour, justice, humanity and courtesy and, without it, I would feel a bit lost. There's an argument that its just a bit of material and that women should not wear their hakama until they get their black belts, same as the men. But until sensei tells me otherwise, I'll wear it! I feel the hakama is more than a bit of material... it's more than an achievement. My hakama is me. And I'm not going to apologise for being cheesy!!
Anyway, I have strayed off the point of this blog post.
I was sitting in a meeting at work (before Joseph decided to be born early) when a man came into the room (one from outside the organisation whom I'd never met before) and he had everyone's attention the minute he stepped through the door. There didn't appear to be an obvious reason for this - he wasn't loud and obnoxious or particularly handsome (not as handsome as my husband anyway ;) and he wore just a plain business suit so nothing that would particularly draw the eye. And yet there was something about him. He was a force in the room but not unpleasant or agressive. We discussed a lot of things about business in that meeting and, while there were disagreements, there was never an argument. His attitude and behaviour were remarkable.
What was it about this stranger?
I decided the only explanation is that some people naturally extend Ki without knowing it. I remember sensei mentioning this a while ago. Some people recognise it and work with it very easily while others have to search for it and practise. I think I'm the latter! I wish I had had time to speak to the guy after the meeting but business waits for no one and we all had to move on. I have no idea whether or not he was aware of his effect on people... if he purposely used it to his advantage.
Ive blogged before about the opposite type of person - one who saps your energy and sucks all the happiness out of the atmosphere. Or worse, bullies... people who get a kick out of making others miserable. I truly believe Ki can be used at any time (not just in techniques) and that it SHOULD be used to make life happier and more peaceful. It can be channelled through attitude, behaviour, actions and words but, unless you're lucky like that guy, it will need to be practiced!
In case you're interested, I'll finish my birth story as proof that using your Ki can make a difference:
After a while of practising my breathing exercises every day, I began to notice that I would go into a bit of, what I can only describe as, "a dwam". It sounds ridiculous but I was aware of my surroundings while being totally relaxed and at the same time I was tuning in with my baby and our energies were intertwining. I get a lighter version of that feeling when I first go on the mat and I'll kneel for about 5-10 seconds first before bowing. Like letting go of the world and focussing on the here and now. When the time came for Joseph to be born it was nothing like I'd imagined! Because of my high blood pressure I had to have an emergency cesarean section. I tell you, I have NEVER been so afraid as I was when I was on the operating table. It's not comfortable and there are a gazillion lights and faces swimming in and out of your vision. I was shaking so much I felt I was about to fall off the table. Something had to be done... for my mental safety and the physical safety of my baby. So I stopped trying to focus on the lights and the people. I started doing my breathing exercises and imagined my Ki being a physical force expanding from me and protecting me like a shield. In my bubble I went to what I had recently discovered to be my husband's "happy place". I pictured me, him and our baby on a beach up north - blue sky, big sunshine and the sound of the waves. My body stopped shaking immediately. The surgeon even asked "are you doing that mindfulness stuff?" I just nodded - I didn't want to come back into the room and it would take too long to explain. "Ki" I said but he probably thought I was saying "key"! He commented on how he'd never seen it work so well. I kid you not, the shaking stopped immediately and I was as calm as ever. Next thing I knew, I was coming round from the anaesthetic and found out I have a son!
Peace does not mean no more conflict among humanity. Conflict is bound to happen, so in order to keep peace in spite of conflict, the only realistic method is the spirit of dialogue, respecting the other side and understanding their viewpoint. We need to try to solve problems in the spirit of brotherhood and sisterhood, in a spirit of reconciliation and compromise.—
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